Contemplation

Dear all,

Have been thinking for days of what I'm going to say with no avail. Things kept popping in my head randomly. I've felt that my focus is slipping away and been trying to hold on to it for dear life. I'd probably need to step back, take a breath and see everything from a bird's eye view.
But do I have the time?
Growing up will not wait for anything. Like time.
I need that moment when time stands still.

Laughter. From the heart. Out loud.

Damn I miss that.

I am one of those who believes that growing up does not mean losing the happy part of you, substituted by responsibilities, obligations, needs, and the list goes on.
But now I know that it is not as easy as it seems.

Why am I stuck doing things that is utterly meaningless?
Why am I stuck doing things where I am situated to be cautious of other human beings?
Why am I stuck doing things that does not seem to bring that much good?

I don't like it. I stay because of need. I stay because of responsibilities.
Meaningless...passionless...
I don't like it.

Once you're counting the days when you can leave something, that's usually one of the first signs that say you need to find something else.
What do I truly want? What do I truly need?
And why does my wanderings kept being halted by the thought of reponsibilities...

Akh...my head hurts. I don't know what to do..I don't know who to talk to.

Laughing out loud. Let's just make that my short-term goal.